Follow Up

This morning I received a chain letter. I abhor chain letters because they are mostly filled with mindless drivel. However, one letter I opened kept me enthralled until nigh on the end where it turned into meaningless chain letter nonsense.

The bulk of the letter was a story told simply with 5 pictures and a few words and yet; even with those few words. It was one of the most touching, saddening, and deeply moving collection of words I've read.

To say that beauty is relevant to the story would be a gross understatement. I find in these pictures and in these few words beauty enough to fill me with a deep satisfaction that I cannot explain.

I'm going to reproduce the story here. (with correct grammar and spelling)



Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick; 21 years old. To her right is her fiancée, Nick; 23.

This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005. Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy. Here Nick waits while she finishes one of the sessions.




Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine, Katie took care of every single wedding plan.

Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to Katie's constant weight loss.

*missing picture*

An expected guest was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception. The other couple in this picture are Nick's parents, very emotional with the wedding and of course to see their son marrying the girl he fell in love when he was an adolescent.




Katie, in a wheel chair listening to her husband and friends singing to her.




In the middle of the party, Katie had to rest for a bit and catch her breath. The pain doesn't allow her to stand for long periods of time.




Katie died 5 days after her wedding. To see a fragile woman dress as bride with a genuine smile makes you think: happiness is always within reach; no matter how long it lasts. Life is too short to make it complicated. Enjoy it.

Beauty

Is, for all intensive purposes, in the eye of the beholder.

However, I wonder if there are not multiple levels of beauty? Perhaps, there is a level of beauty so deep that we hardly ever experience it and, when we do, we experience moments of pure elation and joy.

Yet, perhaps, beauty is only appreciated by those who let themselves appreciate it.

On the surface, the act of birth is not beautiful. Fluids and crying and all manner of icky things are happening when a new person is birthed and yet, in some deep way; birth is one of the most beautiful things to experience.

Not on a TV or through a glass, but first hand. To be present at the onset of a person's life on this world is an awe inspiring gift of beauty to those who can experience it.

Just the same, to be present at the end of a person's life, as they close their final chapter, is as equal a thing of beauty as their birth. The breadth and scope of life, taken in whole, is that of a deep and passionate beauty and something, I know, not many will experience.

Knowing

The movie bothered me on an unprecedented scale.

Despite the Scientologic and Catholic undertones presented, the plot itself deeply bothered me. Aliens and/or otherworldly beings select a few chosen to be the progenitors of a conceivably new race of humans living on another world. They arrive in space ships and ascend to their star ships with a gossamer outline of wings from their back.

So...let me get this straight. Angels are really aliens, who we think our angels?

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their star ships and headed for the skies
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me

Religion has always bothered me how it seeks to seep in through the cracks and plant itself subliminally in the deepest corners of the mind. What I thought was an apocalyptic thriller, turned into a Scientology lesson.

Perhaps I am the only one to have seen it. It seems that the rest of my party failed to notice it. In fact, most of the movie was lost on others; something that I think is a good thing. Religion is a scary thing in the wrong minds and faith is a blessing most have yet to receive. To confuse the two is worse.

Depression

Today, I found myself amidst the throws of depression and I have been unable, as of yet, to free myself from it. Thus, I am unable to rationalize any thought or produce any written word worth considering.

Who

Why am I me and you're you?

I'm Tired

Do I exist while I sleep or do I exist because I wake from it?

Space and Time - Part Three

I don't think, given an infinite amount of time, the universe could ever, under any circumstance, create a yellow bus. Yes, a yellow school bus, complete with rotating wheels and and a flip out "STOP" sign. Yet, humans have in fact created a yellow school bus. So, where did this thought come from?

We already know that something cannot be created from nothing. So how is it that the yellow school bus came into existence. Where did it come from? Well that's simple, you say; someone thought of it.

My point exactly.

Someone thought of it. Someone, created a thought out of nothing and applied it to the physical world around them. This would then violate our principle of Creation ex nihilo. Well, you scoff; thought is simply the biproduct of our bodies turning food into energy, which in turn allows us to have thought.

True, but what then gives us the ability to create from nothing; an event that violates the principle?

To say that thought and creation are merely biproducts would be wrong; would it not? If that were the case, then anyone, anywhere, could have a developed a yellow bus and yet; it didn't happen. Why not? Because humans draw their thought and their creationistic qualities from their own individual energy.

If it helps, you can think of this as a soul. However, do not think of it religiously. This would defeat the purpose of this entire writing.

If thought and creation can bring forth new ideas and new anything into the physical world, then where did the energy come from for that creation?

Of course it could be true that humans have just evolved to turn energy into new forms and our purpose is realized. However, nihilism has never been a preferred philosophical state of mind because it's just too easy to fit all your problems in. While I can think and while I can postulate, I will always attempt to garner the truth and understanding of whatever kind of existence we may be existing in.